Bruce Willis Will Crap on Your Fanboy Love Like He’s George Lucas
The Die Hard movies certainly don’t have as devoted and hilariously geeky a following as, say, Star Wars or Star Trek, but still, I’m sure there are a few people out there who are Die Hard die-hards in the true over-zealous, borderline-creepy fanboy sense. You may even know a few of these people: They may dress as John McClane for Halloween, prompting everyone to ask “Which of the Village People are you supposed to be?” They may say “Yippee-Ki-Yay Motherf****r” every time they do something good, which thankfully isn’t very often. They may have autographed photos of that smokin’ hottie Bonnie Bedelia taped to their bedroom walls so they can gaze at them as they fall asleep, and have pleasant dreams of ravishing her in an elevator during a break from messing up Hans and his terrorist stooges.
If you do know one such fool, please don’t tell them about this interview with Bruce Willis where he talked about wanting to make Die Hard 5 – it might just break their little fanboy heart. Trust me, even though this interview deals with something that should be the realization of their fondest dream – more Die Hard! – the stuff Willis says will only make them sad. For the rest of us, let’s enjoy Bruce Willis not getting it at a level few mortals not named George Lucas ever reach. During an interview with MTV news, Willis announced plans for a fifth Die Hard, then got a little insensitive when discussing his motives:
I still think we’re going to do a Die Hard 5 next year. I like so much more making fun of it, taking the piss out of it, and not making it a big deal, and not making the fact that I’ve acted in a lot of movies a big deal. It’s all illusion and it’s all bullshit and it’s just a great job for me to have, but everything else you can set on fire.
In other words, don’t expect us to take a graceful U-turn back to the old Die Hard formula of John McClane the resourceful everyman fighting bad-guys while bleeding and suffering. The John McClane we established in that last crappy Die Hard with the dude from Deadwood – you know, John McClane plus super powers – will be carried forward because, quite simply, we don’t give a shit about our legacy, and in fact, are quite happy to shit on that legacy if it gives us a chuckle.
Now you know why I didn’t want your Die Hard-loving pal to read that. He’s already depressed enough as it is, what with the mall closing down his favorite baseball card shop. No need to pile on.
Filed Under: Features
