Curling Requires Specialized Equipment. And Curler Sex Requires Specialized Condoms.

Curling has become the buzziest sport at the Olympics, no thanks to the American teams, who have been choking away potential victories at a rate that would embarrass even Brett Favre.  And really, what is there not to like about curling?  It combines things many people really enjoy:  ice, polished rocks, brooms, obscure rules that require multiple Googlings to even begin to understand, cute Danish girls in skirts and tights.  Yes, cute Danish girls in skirts and tights.  As a matter of fact, many of the curlers, male and female, are quite snappy items – maybe not ready-for-the-SI-swimsuit-issue snappy, but still, pretty attractive.  Of course, when so many young, relatively fit, not-entirely-ugly people are jammed into a space as small as the Olympic village in Vancouver, sex is bound to ensue.  Lots of sex – possibly involving brooms.

Okay, basically, there’s a giant curler orgy going on right now in Vancouver, which opens up the possibility of some nasty stuff getting passed around (especially when there are so many Europeans involved).  The U.S. Curling Association, being an enlightened and forward-thinking organization, anticipated the potential for its athletes having wild Olympic sex and catching something – which is why they decided to get out ahead of the problem, and create their own line of condoms.  No, I’m not kidding – the U.S. Curling Association has their own condoms.  They’re called “Hurry Hard,” and they even feature a cute smiling-curling-stone logo.  Yes, curlers are that cool.  And over-sexed.  Which is why I fully expect curling to explode in America.

Filed Under: Features

Tags: brett favre, Features, olympics