The Vatican Lists the 10 Greatest Rock Albums of All-Time. Shockingly, Marilyn Manson Fails to Make the Cut.
Let’s face it: the Vatican lost a lot of its street cred when hip and happenin’ Pope John Paul II kicked off and was replaced by the uptight and traditional Benedict XVI. John Paul was down with the kids, even inviting breakdancers and Bob Dylan to perform for him; Benedict, on the other hand, is so staunchly old school that he banned pop music from being performed at Vatican events, then wrote an essay about how rock ‘n roll is evil and anti-Christian. Such opinions may hold Benedict in good stead with others as narrow-minded and backward as he – the preacher from Footloose, for instance – but when it comes to bringing youngsters into the fold…let’s just say, the Pope’s approach leaves something to be desired.
Thankfully, there are some in Vatican circles who reject the Pope’s closed-minded assessment of popular music, and instead embrace the “elemental passions” the Pope alleges such things express. Perhaps hoping to mend the fence the Pope broke when he dismissed rock as “banal,” the Vatican publication L’Osservatore Romano has celebrated rock’s contribution to the world by naming its ten best albums of all-time. And no, Creed did not make the cut, nor did Stryper. The Vatican’s list:
1. Revolver by the Beatles
2. If I Could Only Remember My Name by David Crosby
3. Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd
4. Rumours by Fleetwood Mac
5. The Nightfly by Donald Fagen
6. Thriller by Michael Jackson
7. Graceland by Paul Simon
8. Achtung Baby by U2
9. (What’s the Story) Morning Glory by Oasis
10. Supernatural by Carlos Santana
Okay, it may not be the hippest list in the history of the world – No Bowie? No Pixies? No Zappa? – but at least it’s honest. And by honest I mean bland and safe and filled with stuff that makes real rock fans snicker – like Donald Fagen and Oasis. There is, however, one bold choice on the list: Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.” I personally would’ve shied away from praising the work of a pedophile, were I a writer for the Vatican’s newspaper, but clearly, the guys who compiled this list have way bigger balls than me. Or maybe they were just high; they do like “Dark Side of the Moon” after all.
Filed Under: Features
