California Construction Worker With Bad Kidneys Arrested While on Mission to Kill Osama Bin Laden
Gary Faulkner has one mission in life: find terrorist asshole Osama Bin Laden and chop off his head.
No, Gary Faulkner is not some bad-ass Chuck Norris-like army commando, nor is he some butt-kicking ninja bounty hunter armed with laser-guided exploding arrows.
Gary is a construction worker from California. He is 52 years-old, has bad kidneys and high blood pressure. And on Sunday he was arrested by Pakistani authorities while trying to cross the border into Afghanistan equipped with night-vision goggles, a pistol and a three-foot sword.
When attempting to grasp what frame-of-mind Gary must’ve been in when he decided to launch his one-man mission, it might be helpful to note that, when the Pakistanis arrested him, he was also carrying a book of Christian verses and teachings.
And when asked by the police why he thought he could find and exterminate Bin Laden when so many others have failed, Faulkner replied, “God is with me, and I am confident I will be successful in killing him.”
Well, I’ll give Gary this – he sure has plenty of initiative. The sanity part is where he might be a bit lacking.
Then again, you never know. Maybe this guy is some kind of Rambo after all. Maybe, had the Pakistanis let him go, he would’ve found Bin Laden, sliced his head off and walked back out carrying it on the end of a stick. And gotten a little drywall work on the side.
Not likely, I admit. But it couldn’t have hurt anything to let him try.
Filed Under: Features
