Jon Gosselin Tried to Extort Money from Kate by Threatening to Expose Her Crappy Parenting
Jon Gosselin‘s creepiness goes beyond his weird face, Ed Hardy shirts and affairs with various slutty women. Way way beyond. Into territory few but the most extreme dirtbags ever visit.
According to Jon’s one-time girlfriend Hailey Glassman, Gosselin’s adventures in creepiness reached their zenith during his ugly divorce from Kate, when Jon threatened to call Child Protective Services on his ex-wife if she didn’t fork over a large amount of cash. For those keeping score, that officially makes Jon an alleged attempted extortionist.
And this was no casual scheme of Jon’s either. On the contrary, it involved detailed planning, outlined on notes Jon wrote to himself in the third person then neglected to shred, allowing Hailey Glassman to save them for posterity. One particularly psychotic jotting of Jon’s reads, “Jon giving Kate ultimatums. He privately extorts Kate. If you don’t do what I want, I’ll do this…” Another note says, “24/48 hours or I’ll go to DA.”
According to the charming Ms. Glassman, Jon would carry out his extortion threats over a speaker phone right in front of her, often reading straight from his bizarre notes. On one occasion, Jon’s demands made Kate scream, and Jon responded by laughing like a bad movie villain, possibly because he thinks he actually is living in a bad movie. When Glassman confronted him about his madness, Jon justified himself by telling her she had “no idea what he went through” with Kate.
Actually Jon, we do know what you went through with Kate, and for a second we were inclined to sympathize with you. And then we found out that, as horrific a human being as Kate may be, she has nothing on you for pure evil. Kate may be a demoness sent from a parallel dimension to create an army of brainwashed housewives who will finally be ordered by the forces of darkness to stage a Tupperware party that ruptures the space-time continuum allowing our universe to be invaded by a million hideous creatures with roadkill hair, cankles and voices that make grown men’s penises retreat all the way to the tops of their heads, but you Jon…you are a thousand times worse. You are a douche who refers to himself in the third person and isn’t smart enough to throw away a note containing an admission of extortion.
Kate’s very presence may lead to the end of existence as we know it, but at least she has a job.
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