Dexter, The Series Finale: A Lesson in Futility

dexter_wallpaper_1280x1024_4This past Sunday, September 22, 2013 will forever be known as Black Sunday for fans of Showtime’s popular drama Dexter.  Not since The Soprano’s series finale, has there been such an outcry from unsatisfied fans. The internet was flooded with message boards, Facebook posts, and Twitter hashtags containing fan’s frustration for a finale to a season already rife with failure.

Where did it all go wrong?

This season began with promise, as fans are introduced to the Brain Surgeon.  Surgeon is a new sadistic villain with the proclivity for removing his victim’s brains and gift wrapping them. Sadly, this is where the fun ends for fans, as Dexter really never gets the Brain Surgeon on his killing table. In fact, he only manages to get one person on his table, but eventually lets him go.

Ahh yes, that’s where it went wrong!

This season was bereft of kill rooms, victims on Dexter’s table, and the thrill of the hunt each time Dexter would stalk his prey. Instead, the writers treated fans with a kinder, gentler Dexter. In place of an emotionless killing machine, we got a soft-hearted shell of a man who resembled Dexter, only not so much. The writers of the show seemed to turn our anti-hero into a besotted love struck fool with a moral compass, which left fans befuddled and anxious for how the show would end.

So how does Dexter actually end? (SPOILERS AHEAD)

In what will be compared with the emptiness of Lost’s series finale, the final episode of Dexter left fans of the show desperately unsatisfied. Dexter and Hannah try to get out of Miami before the hurricane hits, all the while trying to avoid a US Marshall and a scumbag bounty hunter. Deb gets shot in what looks like a flesh wound, but later dies from a blood clot. Dexter takes Deb’s body out to the ocean and drops her in with all the killers, rapists, and other bad guys hes killed over the years. Our last look at Dexter is him driving his boat into the hurricane, internally monologing how if he was dead, his loved ones would no longer be hurt.

THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN IT…sadly it was not.

As if the ending of the final show wasn’t bad enough, the writers decide to show us one last little shot. A logging company, a truck driver with a burly beard, the camera moves to the driver’s face…It’s Dexter! So, against all odds, and in the face of a hurricane that shattered his boat, Dexter somehow manages to swim to safety and start a new life as a lumberjack. End scene.

I told you it was terrible.

Never fear Dexter fans! We here at Lightly Buzzed have written our own ending for you.

SCENE: Hannah and Harrison are in a park somewhere in Argentina. Harrison is playing with something while Hannah is reading an online Miami news story of a former Miami forensic specialist who’s body washed ashore along with the wreckage of his boat. Hannah looks up at Harrison with a tear in her eye. She tells Harrison that it is time to go and he runs up to her, holding something behind his back. Hannah asks what he’s hiding, and Harrison tells her it’s nothing. The camera pans around to see Harrison holding the body of a dead bird in his tiny little hands, it’s neck broken. He drops the bird as the camera pans back around to his face. Harrison looks up at the camera, as Dexter appears over his shoulder and whispers something in his ear.


You are welcome internet.


Buzzy says “I didn’t even watch this show, I know it ends badly, but Razor’s ending makes me want to watch it now. Sigh.”


Tags: Dexter Showtime TV Shows

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