Breaking Bad: Series Finale Predictions From Someone Who Never Watched It

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Photo Sep 29, 4 34 29 PMI have never watched Breaking Bad.  I know, I know, I’m a communist Al-Qaeda Nickleback listening Auburn fan, but that is beside the point.  Just because I haven’t watched Breaking Bad doesn’t mean I can’t give my prediction on how the show will end.   SPOILER ALERT: I am sure I will be totally accurate so if you don’t want everything just totally ruined for you, STOP READING NOW!  Now without further delay, my vision of the final scene of Breaking Bad:

 

Somewhere in the New Mexico Desert

Walt: So this is how it ends?  Just you and me, the way it should be.

Jesse: Well, I wouldn’t say it’s JUST you and me.

(Walt looks to his left)

Walt: You’re right, I’m so glad you two finally got together.

Ross and Rachel in unison: Thanks Walt, we will never forget you.

(Phoebe hugs Walt)

Walt: And Alf I know you didn’t want to fund your spaceship repairs off meth money, but at least now you are headed back to planet Melmac.

Alf: Finally, and with what you’ve taught me I am going to be the Heisenburg of Melmac; I will own every cat on the planet.

Jessie: What about you Frazier?

Frazier: Well, I guess I will head back and try to work things out with Lilith.  I realize now that she may be a cold witch, but she is the love of my life.  What are your plans Jerry?

Jerry: While I was in the joint George and I learned some valuable skills; we plan to take over Walt’s operation.  My only regret is that Kramer isn’t here to see it, but after he made all those racist comments it was only a matter of time before someone shanked him.

(Al the hologram appears)

Al: (Speaking to Walt)  You did it Sam, you fixed Walt’s life and saved him from the brink.

Scott Bakula wearing Walt’s clothes: Wait, you mean this was all a leap?

Al: The last leap Sam, you’re ready to go home.

(Suddenly the screen pans out and the desert is inside the snow globe of an autistic child.)

(Walt awakes with a start sitting a the table in a dinner with Edie Falco)

Edie Falco: I gotta look out for you.

(A man with a gun approaches as the screen fades to black.)

(Walt awakens again in a hospital bed dying of cancer. His wife and adult children surround him. He’s been in a comma for 10 years.  His wife and children are saying goodbye, Walt realizes that they are pulling the plug.)

Walt (Speaking in his own head): NOOOOOOO, I’m alive, why can’t you hear me?

The Ghost of Christmas Future: Do you understand the meaning of Christmas now? Are you ready to change?

Walt: I am, I am, send me back!

(Walt is back in Korea during the war.)

BJ Honeicutt: Just in case, I left you a note.

Walt Hawkeye: What?

(The helicopter rises over the MASH and Walt sees the word GOODBYE written out in stones.)

Dr. Sam Becket never returned home.

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Buzzy says “But what happened to the smoke monster?”

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