USC Fires Lane Kiffin, Your College Football Recap

South Carolina at UCF

South Carolina must have had a Disney hangover because they let preeminent commuter school UCF lead 10-0 at the half.  Steve Spurrier didn’t seem all that upset though stating “there are so many good golf courses in Florida, it’s hard to pick one.”  USCe did finally get it together in the second half and manage to pull out a win.  The win may taste bitter sweet though as USCe QB Conner Shaw’s birth defect, being made of  glass, struck again and he is out for at least a couple weeks.

Oklahoma at Notre Dame

The Oklahoma Sooners took on the interception throwing Irish of Notre Dame to see who would win the next game in this forced unnatural rivalry.  Notre Dame QB Tommy Rees threw three interceptions, but Coach Brian Kelly put a positive spin on it.  “I was really impressed with the way Tommy (Rees) was able to get the ball to the Oklahoma defense.  I feel like we are more than half way there, all we have to do now is get him focused on our guys” said Kelly.  Oklahoma would love to use this win as proof that they are for real, but you know, it’s Notre Dame.

Oklahoma State at West Virginia

Meanwhile Oklahoma State was facing their own demons in the form of West Virginia.  The Cowboys did what teams named The Cowboys tend to do when a season is on the line, they lost.   Oklahoma State head coach Mike Gundy said “I’m afraid that the polls are going to use this horrible loss to a terrible opponent as a reason to keep us out of the BCS national championship again.” Mike Gundy then screamed at a little girl and took her ice cream cone.

WVU was led by quarterback and old timey inventor Clint Trickett.  You may remember Trickett as the promising young QB that Jimbo Fisher told to take a hike.

FSU at Boston College

Speaking of Jimbo Fisher, it looks like FSU hasn’t forgotten how to ACC.  FSU managed to beat lowly Boston College despite being down for the majority of the first half.  “The ACC juju is strong,” said Boston College head coach Steve Adazzio.  “I never got this close to beating FSU when I was coaching Florida.”

Wisconsin at Ohio State

Former Florida coach and full time family man Urban Meyer lead his Buckeyes to a victory over pretty much the only decent team they play this year.  “It’s good to get this one out of the way.  Now we can focus on the meat of our schedule with Northwestern, Iowa, and Purdue on the horizon” said Meyer.  Wisconsin fans took the loss in stride only calling Jen Bielema names for an hour or so after the game.

Texas A&M at Arkansas

Meanwhile Jen Bielema’s husband was trying to lead plucky little Arkansas to victory over Texas A&M but…

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LSU at Georgia

LSU and Georgia got in a shootout over on CBS.  I really thought LSU would have an advantage in a shoot out, with their team consisting almost exclusively of convicted felons, but Georgia proved the good guys can win.  Georgia coach Mark Richt had this to say after the game “blah blah blah, great opponent, blah blah blah respect, blah blah blah do you have a moment to talk about your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?”

Ole Miss at Alabama

Next we have the Ole Miss Colonel Black Rebel Land Bear Sharks at Alabama.  Hugh Freeze confidently lead his undefeated team into the jaws of defeat by repeatedly passing up on field goals to go for it on fourth down.  “What’s a feeld gowl?” asked Hugh Freeze in the post game press conference.

The Ole Miss players and fans talked a lot of trash before the game, which they inevitably regretted later.  We asked life long Ole Miss fan Billy Ray Billy Jr. if he thought it was hypocritical that Ole Miss fans were doing this, after they mocked Mississippi State fans for doing the same thing last year.  “Naw man, this is totally different from that, because we really had a chance,” said Billy after the 25-0 defeat.

Nick Saban Nick Saban’d hard last night, as he was pissed and screaming with 20 seconds left in the game and a 25-0 lead.

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USC at Arizona State

USC traveled to the desert to take on Arizona State.  Arizona State managed to get a big win over USC, and I don’t honestly know enough about the PAC to know if it matters.  Let’s be real, the only game in the PAC-12 with any significance is Stanford vs. Oregon.

Oh, and Lane Kiffin got fired.  Lane Kiffin probably should have known something was going on when during the post game handshake Todd Graham handed him a copy of his resume and asked that he “pass it along.”  Lane Kiffin was fired in the parking lot of LAX on Saturday night.  Kids who work at Wendy’s get taken to the office to be fired, Lane Kiffin was fired in a parking lot.

USC has named Ed Orgeron as interim head coach.  When asked how he felt Orgeron said “Leplad ahkkhg nblah yaw yaw yaw pfffft.” We regret to say that our efforts to find a cartoon Tasmanian Devil to translate that into English have failed, we apologize.

Other News

In other news Texas lost to bye week.  Mack Brown has promised to use this as a teaching moment.

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Buzzy says “I wanted to hear about the UConn vs. Buffalo game.”

 

 

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