The World Series: A Non Baseball Fan Breaks It Down

It’s the start of the World Series so I figured I might as well go ahead and get hip and start watching baseball. It is, after all, America’s favorite pastime.

Now, I’ve been to a couple of baseball games here locally but never actually watched a game and I’ve never watched a game on television. About the only thing I know about baseball is you’ve got 3 shots to hit the ball and from there its basically kickball rules.

The first thing I need to do is decide which team to root for during the series. I did some extensive internet researching and I found out that a team from Boston called the Red Sox is playing a team from St. Louis called the Cardinals. I’m not really sure what a “Sox” is much less what a red one would do. I do know they are from Boston and I hate the patriots, so that means I’m rooting for the cardinals.

So here are my notes from a first time baseball person watching Game 1 one of the World Series.


Inning 1:

-Ok first thing is, they need instant replay. They just wasted like 30 mins trying to figure out if this guy caught the ball or not. Of course, the coaches are out there screaming at everyone like it matters. Not sure what the fuss was about, it wasn’t a scoring play or anything.

-Whats the deal with everybody eating. This guy has a mouth full of sunflower seeds while he is getting ready to hit the ball. He looks like a freaking chipmunk. Does he keep that in there the whole time? What if he has to run the bases?  This just goes to the slow pace of this game. You would never see Drew Brees eating a ham sammich while standing in the pocket.


2nd inning

-Boston’s beards are ridiculous. I think they are winning by intimidation alone. No one likes to play against the Unabomber or the Taliban.

– This guy just decided not to catch the ball. Didn’t even try. Go Jaguars. Seriously, look at this (click for GIF):



– Guy hit the ball. Another guy caught it. Guy who hit it was pissed.


3rd inning:

– Guy swings at the ball, misses. Sits down.

– Guys eating more sunflower seeds.

– Heard a noise outside. Got up to check, nothing there. Sat back down, didn’t miss anything.

– Guy with weak-ass goatee hit the ball and got out. Good.


4th inning:

-Guy doesn’t hit the ball, gets bored and just goes to first base.

– Wicked snot rockets from the pitcher

-No one ever hits the damn ball. I finally figured out what these averages are – it’s an indication of how any times they hit the ball vs. how any times they get the chance to.

-Some of these guys hit the ball 3 out of 10 times and that’s considered good. Let me put it to you another way – Blaine Gabbert has a better completion rating than that . . . think about that for a minute.


Innings 5-9:

I have no idea because I changed the channel.


For more sports takes follow me on twitter @TurnerLuke

Love, Luke

Tags: Boston Red Sox St. Louis Cardinals World Series

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