1. You talk about Nick Saban a lot.
2. You like to “choot” your rifle.
3. You have cooked a nutria.
4. Your cologne smells vaguely like the main drag of the state fair.
5. The number on your jersey is more than 4 digits long. #2004558
6. You are still talking about Nick Saban.
7. You have ever kicked and or punched someone in the back of the head.
8. Your judicial system takes insanity, acting in a fit of passion, and if you are playing football for LSU into consideration on sentencing.
9. You haphazardly insert the letter ‘x’ into words in an attempt to make them “clever.”
10. No really, stop mentioning Nick Saban.
11. You think Bama considers you it’s biggest rival.
12. You use “Who Dat?” as an example of your ability to speak French.
13. You hate Nick Saban for being “one of ‘em gutless traitors, like Abraham Lincoln.”
14. You have a “nice” pair of waders.
15. You’ve caught your dinner inside a trap at some point this week.
16. You like to yell “overrated” at teams you have just beaten.
17. No seriously you please shut up about Nick Saban.
18. Your main form of transportation is powered by a giant fan.
19. When you are faced with a tough decision you have a bunch of 18-20 year-olds vote on it for you.
20. Your teams colors are purple and gold, but you dress almost exclusively in all orange.
21. You talk about Nick Saban more than pot heads talk about “legalizing it.”
22. Your work environment involves you working on the highway while under the supervision of your boss. Your boss is holding a shotgun.
23. No, I don’t think Nick Saban misses you.
24. You leave gumbo and bodan for Santa.
25. No, Nick Saban isn’t coming back if you get rid of Les.
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