OREGON AT STANFORD
It’s like that old saying: If it walks like a duck, and it talks like a duck, it’s probably not going to the BCS championship game. Oregon spent the last two weeks wanting Bama, but forgot about the team that wanted them. The Trees strike again and prevent the ducks from going to the ‘ship. I could be talking about two PAC-12 football teams, or I could be talking about an episode of Dora The Explorer.
But let’s look at the bright side here; there are a lot of kids in Haiti sporting brand new “We Want Bama” t-shirts.
This one is for all the sports writers who picked Oregon to win it all.
FLORIDA STATE AT WAKE FOREST
Florida State had 35 points in the first quarter as FSU continues their “punch Ewoks in the face tour of the ACC.” I’m not talking about the tall 4′ warrior Ewoks that beat the Empire mind you. No, I’m talking about the little fat Ewoks that they left back home to guard the tree-house village.
VANDERBILT AT FLORIDA
The last time Vandy beat Florida in the swamp the United States was trying to defeat Hitler. I realize that Vandy has gotten much better over the last couple of years, but come on UF. I figure the main thought running through Will Muschamps head at half time was “should I hire movers or just rent a U-Haul?” This UF team is so bad it made Tim Tebow cuss. Now Tebow is going to have to pray that saying “dern” doesn’t become a habit.
VIRGINIA TECH AT MIAMI
Virginia Tech scored more on Miami than FSU did because COLLEGE FOOTBALL Y’ALL. Virginia Tech was like hey lets lose to Boston College and Duke and then beat Miami, which will totally mess with people. That’s like failing art and PE but getting an A in chemistry. VaTech is such a nerd. I think FSU is one of the best two teams in the country, but the ACC being insane makes it hard to be sure.
NOTRE DAME AT PITT
Losing to Pitt is losing an arm wrestling match to your little sister. Now I understand why that leprechaun was always running from those kids, the Irish are no match for small children. I don’t think the Irish faithful have to worry about Brian Kelly leaving for an NFL job this year, no one is asking.
OKLAHOMA AT BAYLOR
LSU AT ALABAMA
LSU isn’t what they used to be. I think it’s because Les Miles’ plan to recruit exclusively from parole board hearings may be flawed.
The craziest thing about this game was how happy Nick Saban was at the end. If Darth Vader is giving out hugs and smiles, it’s a bad day for someone.
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