1. You’ve ever lost your pants.
2. Stealing an electronic device earned you a scholarship.
3. Reading this list will be the first time you’ve ever counted to 25.
4. Bobby Lowder has ever “loaned” you an ATM card.
5. You drank out of a garden hose today.
6. You call strangers “family” based on the fact that they root for the same football team as you.
7. One year ago today you were telling your friends how “football just isn’t that important.”
8. You’ve taken a picture of a college kid’s car and license plate.
9. You yell “WAR EAGLE,” and have no idea what it means or where it came from.
10. You’ve lost a toe.
11. You call Alabama “UAT” because you think adding the name of a city to Alabama’s name is an insult. Your schools real name is the name of a city.
12. This post was brought to you by Southeastern Pond Management.
13. You don’t like to go to Montgomery because it’s just so uppity and metropolitan.
14. The tires on your truck are enormous. You’ve never driven your truck off road.
15. You tell people you are training to be an MMA fighter, you’re 35 and overweight.
16. You’ve been to so many Toby Keith concerts.
17. Your name is Tammy.
18. You think Jesus has an active interest in college football.
19. You know Alabama is behind literally EVERYTHING.
20. You think Squidbillies is a documentary.
21. You own an article of clothing that says “Heritage Not Hate.”
22. You’re more concerned with the surveillance capabilities of “the REC” than the NSA.
23. Black-face? You’ve been there, done that.
24. You dropped your donation to the athletic department in an offering plate.
25. You own a slacket.