Iron Bowl: Auburn Is Blessed

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Special guest blogger Ascot Friday wrote this piece to help the Auburn fan base find their thankfulness this holiday season. If you don’t follow Ascot Friday on twitter then I just don’t know what you’re doing with your life.

As Terry Saban pointed out this week, college football fans are prone to get spoiled by their team’s success and sometimes even forget to appreciate what they have.  I myself, an Alabama fan, understand that the fun times on Saturdays, the smug bravado I pump into the Twitterverse, and the single malt scotch that I pour to celebrate each monumental victory all depend upon the maniacal, psychotic competitive drive of Terry Saban’s husband – and the college kids  5 times his size that are terrified of him.

I count myself as an expert on being thankful.  Therefore, as an act of sportsmanship, I’d like to extend some helpful hints to our rivals, the Auburn fans across the state, on how to remain thankful for their blessings during this run of success they are having.  Because, as we saw in 2010, no fanbase can rise from tempered humility to full on self-importance the way the Aubs can.  So here’s some free tips from a guy just trying to help:

1.  Celebrate the genius of the men that have helped to build Auburn into a place of dignified people that are in NO way paranoid or preoccupied with what Alabama is doing.  Like David Housel, former Auburn Athletic Director.  Sure he may have compared Alabama to the Nazis, and delivered a message I can only assume was aided by pharmaceuticals because of its sputtering directionless nature.  But this guy “gets it.” Without him, you would have one less example of what a true Auburn man is.

 

 

2.  Appreciate the sour.  Is the sweet success of this year really as sweet without remembering that the group of Auburn men on the team basically quit last season and gave you (and all of us Alabama fans) a season of historic futility.  So, remember how far you’ve come and that many of those same players are on THIS year’s team.  So if you get a chance, be sure and thank them for the heaping helping of humble pie they placed on last year’s Thanksgiving table beside the bowl of Critter Stew.

 

 

3.  Auburn is more than just a “Football School.”  You should appreciate the well-rounded athletic program that Jay Jacobs has helped create.  Now, you may think I mean revenue sports like baseball and basketball – which Auburn finished last in the previous year. No, no, no.  I’m talking about the storied history of Auburn Mascot National Championships.  Aubie has brought home seven Mascot National Championships, y’all.  All six of you that are going to those Auburn basketball games this February and losing at home by 20 to Miss St, just remember that while you may not be competitive on the court, NOBODY can match your mascot! Or your Equestrian Program! Don’t get me started on Swimming!
 

 
4.  Just like Adam needed Eve, the good men of Auburn need Auburn women.  If ever the captain of the Auburn ship, Gus Malzahn, needed a shoulder of comfort or a boost of support, I know that the true Auburn fans are thankful that he has it in Kristi.  The real question is whether it is Alabama fans or Auburn fans who are more thankful for Kristi Malzahn.  One of my personal goals is to get a reality show featuring Kristi green lighted.

 

5.  Finally, Just be thankful for your family…the Auburn Family.  It is truly a community in Auburn, not a weird cult as all these outsiders would have us believe.  Be thankful for all those outsiders too, those haters.  Be thankful that they reveal themselves as enemies of the good and true and fearless and never-yielding men of character that take the football field in God’s name each week.  They’re just jealous of you!  No one on the outside understands, do they? Be thankful that you do.  You were chosen.  Those others, like Alabama fans were NOT.  Oh sure, Alabama gets to win national championships every year, but they don’t get to be a part of this close-knit family that is led by honest, classy, and character filled men like Pat Dye – a man of such unimpeachable character that they named the football field after him…and that has in NO way back fired.

 

 

Good luck on Saturday, Aub fans.  And remember that win or lose, you are all part of a #Blessed Family.
 

Like this? Then you should also check out:

Iron Bowl: 25 Signs That You Might Be An Auburn Fan

The Definitive Iron Bowl Timeline

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