When I think of a place that’s holy, a place that truly symbolizes the spirit of giving and good will towards men, I think of Las Vegas. This isn’t just regular Las Vegas either, no no. This is Las Vegas plus USC. Now I know that USC doesn’t technically have Lane Kiffin as thier head coach anymore, it’s a tragedy for all of us, but you know they still smell of Kiffin. Lane Kiffin is the Axe Body Spray of football coaches, you can’t just wash that douchey smell off. It takes years of scrubbing to erase his “Mountain Thunder Blast.”
USC recently hired Steve Sarkisian from the University of Washington because coaching searches are like hard and boring and junk and we have a spray tan appointment. Sark’s winning percentage at UW is actually lower than Lane Kiffin’s was at USC. So well done USC, your quest to become as irrelevant as Notre Dame is well on it’s way. You know what else will really help them along on that quest? Getting beat by Fresno State in the Las Vegas Bowl. That’s so Notre Dame!
Fresno State won a lot of close games on a terrible schedule. USC is bipolar. It really is a toss up here. USC losing and watching their fan base melt down about the new coach over the summer would be really fun though, so go Bulldogs!
The Royal Purple Las Vegas Bowl
December 21 3:30p.m.