Kanes Questions and Thoughts: NFL Week 17 Edition


Photo Dec 29, 12 19 35 PM

The NFL has reached the final week of the regular season. The playoff scenarios are clear, we know which games this weekend matter, and above anything else, we know that this has been one goofy NFL season.

Here’s the funny thing, though: for all of chatter that this season has been crazier and more unpredictable than ever, we are going to end up recycling many of the narratives we always hear about. Like…

1. Can Peyton Manning get it done in the cold weather, the playoffs, and any combination of those two?

Of course Manning will probably play fine again, and the game will come down to something else again. But that won’t stop us from cramming the results into this theory. Just like Manning had no say in whether or not Rahim Moore stayed on his feet last year against the Baltimore Ravens, he has no control over Von Miller‘s health or Champ Bailey‘s declining skills or how his running backs move the ball.

But unless there is a totally unexpected and somewhat frightening heat wave nationwide in January 2014, you better believe you will hear plenty of theories about Manning…again.

Hey, speaking of lazy applications of quarterback win/loss statistics…

2. Honestly, what’s the deal with the Dallas Cowboys?

And how the hell do we keep ending up with Sunday Night games between the Cowboys and some other mediocre NFC East team for a division title? Hoping that Tony Romo and the Cowboys will stop dominating sports talk at the end of an NFL season is like hoping Justin Bieber will actually go away…it’s just not going to happen.

Will you take Jerry Jones with you?

Yikes.

That gives me an idea. Tony Romo should just end of his interviews by yelling “I’M HERE FOREVER.”

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Also, I think I just realized something: trying to understand the Dallas Cowboys is like a series of Justin Bieber tweets: you try to make sense of it, you try to tell yourself none of it really matters in the real world, and it’s just the worst.

3. So, how weird has this NFL season been?

The following teams still have a legitimate chance to make the playoffs, pending various outcomes in week 17: Miami Dolphins (scandal and all), Pittsburgh Steelers (currently 7-8), Green Bay Packers (they were without Aaron Rodgers for seven weeks and are currently 7-7-1), San Diego Chargers, Baltimore Ravens, and the Arizona Cardinals (with Carson Palmer at quarterback).

Seriously, this season has been weirder than a video of Macaulay Culkin eating pizza.

Never mind, that was way weirder.

Tags: Arizona Cardinals Dallas Cowboys Denver Broncos Features Green Bay Packers Miami Dolphins NFL Peyton Manning Popular San Diego Chargers Tony Romo