NFL Conference Championship Preview, Written By A Depressed Jags Fan

What’s a conference championship precious?


Jags fan has never seen such a thing… this must be a rare and unique event.  I thought football ended weeks ago.  I was not aware that some teams were allowed to continue playing football for some kind of  “championships.”  I’m not sure I believe this, you wouldn’t lie to Jags fan would you?


Apparently these championships are for teams that “win” football games.  Jags fan is very confused by this.  I thought all teams were like Jaguars team and goal was to have really entertaining mascot.

The first game today is between Denver and Boston, which makes ESPN analysts swoon and get the vapors.   Will the beautiful and glamorous Tom Brady take the Patriots to another Super Bowl? Or will America’s favorite victim of macrocephaly, Petyon Manning, lead the Broncos to a championship?

Boston fans are super excited about the game saying, “oh my gawd I hope da pats win dis freaking game or I’m going to be so wicked mad ya bastard.”

We reached out to several Denver fans but they all seemed a bit dazed and just asked us if we had any Funyuns.

I’ll be honest with you Pats fans, no one wants you to win.


Later today the Seahawks and 49ers will meet to determine who will go to the Rose Bowl go to the Super Bowl.

Jags fan is rooting for the Seahawks because he likes to pretend that the Jaguars had drafted Russel Wilson instead of a punter.


The 49ers are led by the dark lord Harbaugh and his evil minions.  The Harbaugh has no mercy on weak pitiful creatures and only wants to achieve dark domination over the people of America.


We hope the mighty Russel Wilson can live up to the hype and help the Seattle Starhawks get to a Super Bowl.  If Seattle can turn their franchise around then there’s hope for all of us.

Enjoy today’s tasty morsels of football, as they are getting few and far between and much last us an entire year.


Tags: Denver Broncos New England Patriots San Fransisco 49ers Seattle Seahawks

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