The Super Bowl is this Sunday…duh, and the big game brings with it, the usual halftime-hoopla. However, this year seems to perplex me a bit, as Bruno Mars is going to be headlining the main stage with arguably the largest viewing audience of the year.
Now, I’m not usually one to complain about the halftime show, because I don’t normally care who sings, as long as my team wins; with the exception of last year. When Beyoncé took the stage last year, I confoundedly wondered aloud, “What in the 9 hells do football fans care about Beyoncé?” Of course, my wife chided me, reminding me that more women than ever were watching the game now, and it was time for the beer swilling alpha males of years past, to move over and share the scepter of power (the remote).
Of course, I was not having it, I mean really, what manly-man football fan with his man card intact, would want to celebrate his team’s good fortune with “Put a ring on it” or “Crazy in Love” it just does not fit.
Enter Bruno Mars, and Super Bowl XLVIII: I’m not even going to rant and rage about bringing in a pop star, with exactly two songs that I’ve even ever heard of (thanks to my wife’s love of his music). However, this got me thinking about who I would like to see headlining the halftime extravaganza, instead of Mr. Mars, and I came up with a list of 3.
1. Why not cater to the main audience, and bring in a nostalgic band like Metallica? And I’m not talking about the politically correct, washed-out softies that sang at the Grammys. I’m talking about long haired James Hetfield, slamming spine shattering riffs, swinging his hair around like a death bringing flail, wielded by the God of Metal and Thunder himself…yeah, that Metallica.
2. If we are targeting a certain audience or demographic with this music selection, then we have to talk about Country Music. Again, I’m not talking about the whiney garbage that passes for music these days. No, I’m talking about Johnny Cash rising from the grave, shaking off the dirt and dust, to deliver his own special brand of music. Who wouldn’t love a rendition of ‘Walk the Line’ or ‘Folsom Prison Blues’ or ‘Ring of Fire’.
I know what you’re thinking, “Shut up Razor, he’s dead you moron.” Well jeez you don’t have to be so mean…but I digress. With the invention of holograms, a Johnny Cash Super Bowl halftime show, is literally one click away. Hey, if Snoop Dog can bring back Tupac, then Roger Goodell can bring back Johnny Cash.
3. Last but definitely not least, if we are talking about Tupac and Holograms, why not bring him back? Tupac was the disputed king of rap in his day. With songs like ‘California Love’, ‘Dear Momma’ and ‘All Eyez on Me’. Tupac would for sure light up MetLife Stadium.
Who would you book as the halftime entertainment if you had the power? let me know in the comments below.
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