David Harris Turns 40, Is Basically Dead

Lightly Buzzed writer David Leslie Harris tragically turned 40 today.  Leslie, as he was known to his friends, is survived by his much much much younger wife Melissa and the cats he sadly used as a proxy for real children.
David Leslie Harris was born into a wealthy family of Louisiana mud farmers. David was a typical Louisiana boy rooting hard for his favorite team, the LSU Tigers.
Leslie flourished in the bayou but spent much of his youth as a 60 year old lounge singer in Atlantic City.
As David Leslie Harris grew to become a man his mind turned to finding a wife.  David found his soul mate in Melissa Harris, a 15 year old who he won over with promises of “free candy” from his windowless van.
David Leslie earned many distinctions in his lifetime but is probably best remembered for his run as the short chubby member of the Dixie Chicks.
David will be missed by many but perhaps he will most be missed on the Downton Abby fan-fiction writing boards. (THIS ONE IS KIND OF TRUE, BRO LOVES DOWNTON ABBY.)
David’s other hobbies included playing “World of Warcraft” and hiding from sunlight.
By far the most tragic aspect of David’s untimely aging is that he was also officially named Assistant Editor of the LB today.
Congrats on becoming the assistant editor and turning 40 bro, we couldn’t do it without you!



Well we probably could do it without you, but it wouldn’t be as much fun anyway.
Photo Feb 11, 10 43 31 AM


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