Game of Thrones: Sansa Stark's Diary, Page One



 
Dear Diary,

I’m just like so sad and stuff you know?  Like I don’t even get to be queen now! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

 

Joff had my dog killed and I still gave him a handy on the way to Kings Landing and now he he’s hooking up with some OLD skank? Margaery is in her twenties, that is so old and gross.  What kind of name is “Margaery” anyway I mean is she butter?  That’s so funny, I have to tell Shae that one.
 
LB_Joff1

I used to love him.

LB_Joff2

Now I hate him.

 
I’m glad I have Shae so I have a girlfriend I can trust around all these gold diggers.  It’s so nice to have someone you can trust and you know is just totally on your side.  Shae is totally my BFF and would never do anything behind my back.  Angry pubescent dictators may come and go but former prostitute handmaidens are forever.
 
OMG I saw the Knight of Flowers today and he is so dreamy.  I mean he’s just so perfect and beautiful and graceful and he’s always got so many other cute boys around him.  He really is the kind of man every woman wants.
 
Anyway, I wrote this song to teach Joff a lesson.  My music is my refuge and I really think if I continue to work hard on it I can get a contract and move to Qarth to be a big star.
 
Later Diary.
 
Winter is coming so YOLO!

 

I remember when your mom ordered my dog killed

Saying, “This is it, I’ve had enough,” ’cause like

We hadn’t even known each other a month

When you said you needed space to experiment with Little Finger’s friends. (What?)

Then you come around again and say

“Baby, I miss you and I swear I’m gonna change, trust me, I won’t kill anymore of your family.”

Remember how that lasted for a day?

I say, “I hate you,” we break up, you call me, “I love you.”

Ooh, we called it off again last night, after you had me beaten

But ooh, this time I’m telling you, I’m telling you

We are never ever ever getting back together,

We are never ever ever getting back together,

You go talk to your Mom/Aunt, talk to your Dad/Uncle, talk to me

But we are never ever ever ever getting back together

Like, ever…

I’m really gonna miss you picking fights and having me slapped

And me falling for it screaming that I’m right before you have me slapped

And you would hide away and find your peace of mind after having me slapped

With some indie record that’s much cooler than mine so you had me slapped

Ooh, you called me up again tonight

But ooh, this time I’m telling you, I’m telling you

We are never, ever, ever getting back together

We are never, ever, ever getting back together

You go talk to the Hound, talk to the Imp, talk to me (talk to me)

But we are never ever ever ever getting back together

Ooh, yeah, ooh yeah, ooh yeah

Oh oh oh


I used to think that we would rule together forever

And I used to say, “Never say never…”

Uggg… so he calls me up and he’s like, “I still love you, sorry I killed all those people.”

And I’m like… “I just… I mean this is exhausting, you know, like,

We are never getting back together. Like, ever”

No!

We are never ever ever getting back together

We are never ever ever getting back together

You go talk to the Mountain, talk to The Knight of Flowers, talk to me

But we are never ever ever ever getting back together

We, ooh, getting back together, ohhh,

We, ooh, getting back together

You go talk to the Spider, talk to Shae, talk to me (talk to me)

But we are never ever ever ever getting back together

 

READ PAGE 2 OF SANSA’S DIARY NEXT MONDAY!

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