Kate Upton Breast Reduction

Kate Upton is breaking news and hearts today with her announcement of her breast reduction. Kate was set to make the announcement in this month’s Vogue issue but engaged couple Kanye West and Kim Kardashian took the cover and her news spread. She decided to hold a press conference so she could explain to fans why she is having a breast reduction. Visibly shaking as she took the podium and explained her brave decision to have a breast reduction.
Upton’s breast have been instrumental in breaking into show business, but it’s not what she wants to be known for. While she has amassed triple digit numbers of magazine covers it means nothing to her. They were a means to an end. Her ample breast have been her companions for years but she feels like they have outlived their usefulness. Kate’s ultimate goal is to become a serious actress. Kate feels members of the film industry would accept her as a formidable dramatic thespian if she were not so well endowed. While she has stated in past interviews that she loves her body, she now feels like her breast are figuratively and literally keeping her from reaching the bass ring. She wants to be viewed in the same light as Anne Hathaway and Cameron Diaz and we all know they belong to the Itty Bitty Titty Committee.
Kate’s acting repertoire is still very thin but its not without promise. She is currently promoting the movie, “The Other Woman” with Leslie Mann and Cameron Diaz. Yet again she being typecast as the sexy boobylicious lover but hopes after her surgery this will be the last time she will be forced into another degrading role. As millions of men weep for the loss of Laverne and Shirley (Kate’s breast) just know the breast don’t make the women. She is making a great sacrifice so she can become the great actress she wants to be and the one you didn’t know you wanted.

 I have left you all a video of Kate because it’s what you need.

RIP Laverne and Shirley.


Tags: April Fools Kate Upton

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