My YELP review of Craster’s Keep
Just arrived at Craster’s Keep. The food isn’t that bad, but the cups they give us to drink out of are just gross. Who wants to drink out of some old dead dude’s skull? The entertainment ain’t have bad, just a bunch of naked chicks gettin straight pounded by dudes, all over the place. Hehe bewbs.
Our host, Crazy Karl (he hates when I call him that), is kind of a dick. He keeps threatening to throw one in Meera, which honestly, I don’t really know what “throw one in her” means. My direwolf Summer, is in a pit out back, right beside Jon’s direwolf, Ghost. I’m not sure why Ghost is here and Jon isn’t, but whateves, I’m just glad to be indoors for once.
The only thing I really don’t like, is that Brodor is chained up outside, like some dog, while those bros of The Night’s Watch poke him with sticks. Crazy Karl says it’s because Brodor is too big to be inside, and he doesn’t know if he is house broken…meh. I warged into Brodor and took a giant piss on one of the bro’s legs, he wasn’t happy about that. LOL
I keep trying to get Jojen to look at all these bewbs with me, but I think they scared him, because he passed out…LOL what a pussy! All in all, Craster’s Keep is a pretty decent place to catch a nap in, get some hot food, and enjoy some pretty decent entertainment, just don’t call the host, Crazy Karl…he HATES that.
6 stars out of 10 would stay here again.