Jun 12, 2014; Sao Paulo, BRAZIL; Brazil forward Fred (9) reacts after falling after being touched by Croatia defender Dejan Lovren (6) in the second half during the opening game of the 2014 World Cup at Arena Corinthians. Brazil would be awarded a penalty kick on their way to a victory over Croatia 3-1. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

Brazil vs. Croatia, Bandit’s World Cup Recap

Brazil vs. Croatia
Once we all came down from the bad acid trip that was the opening ceremonies it was time to get the real football started. (Writers note: I will for the purposes of these articles I will be calling soccer football to make the trolls happy.)
Brazil came out looking flatter than your 6th grade girlfriend. Brazil did manage to score the first goal of the world cup though… they just scored it in the wrong goal.  Marcelo Vieira took time off from being the lead singer of Counting Crows to kick the ball into his own goal.


These things happen Marcelo, you can’t let it get you down. You should try to remember that “When everybody loves you, son, that’s just about as funky as you can be.”  Mr. Jones was a wise wise man.

Croatia was attacking like mad and looked like a side with something to prove, then the refs got involved. Brazil’s Frederico Chaves Guedes, better known as Fred, flopped so hard Dwyane Wade got jealous.  I mean this was some Oscar worthy acting, maybe if Fred gave Lindsey Lohan some lessons she could finally get that comeback together?

“FLOP FLOP FLIPPITY FLOP” a new hit “rap” song by Will Smith due out this summer.
Of course the refs fell for the flop, it’s Brazil. For the duration of this World Cup Brazil is basically Tom Brady. If you give them a dirty look you’re going to get a red card. This is partially because Brazil is the home team and FIFA wants the home country to do well, it’s partially because Brazil is expected to do well and so is going to get the benefit of the doubt, it’s mostly because the refs know that if they make a call against Brazil then this is going to happen:

Croatia looked like a team with fire in it’s belly. Brazil looked like a team stumbling through the motions. If Brazil is going to win this World Cup they better get their act together fast. A crazy game where the losing side actually impressed you more than the winning side. Part of that is the hype behind Brazil, part of it is slow flat play.
It was a crazy first game, but hey this is the World Cup. What did you think of the first game? Do you think Brazil has what it takes to win it all? Let us know in the comments below.

Tags: Brazil Croatia Frederico Chaves Guedes Marcelo Vieira World Cup