Saved By The Bell, The Lifetime Movie

Saved By The Bell is coming back… No, it’s not a reunion, those people hate each other. Nope, it’s not another lame “New Class” either. It’s a Lifetime movie, that’s right it’s Saved By the Bell the Lifetime movie.

The movie is supposedly a look at the “behind the scenes drama” of Saved By The Bell. Wait, you mean to tell me getting six to eight (if you count that slag Tory) teens together to do something creates drama? You have got to be kidding me. I would never have guessed that giving six teens a ton of popularity, putting them on TV, and giving them a bunch of money would create drama. I mean other teen stars like Miley Cyrus seem so well adjusted after all.

Saved By The Bell was a great show from my childhood, but I don’t care enough about it now to watch six people pretend to be the cast of Saved By The Bell. You could have at least gotten Dustin Diamond and the bi-polar girl who played Lisa, they probably would have done the movie for some leftover day old bread from Subway.

This cast doesn’t look great.  The most glaring problem is Kelli Kapowski, I don’t know what happened here. You can’t throw a rock in LA without hitting a pretty anorexic girl and this is the Kelli we choose? I hope the Max serves some Nutrislim or at least some of Jessie’s caffeine pills.

AC has never looks more puny. I know Mario Lopez is now the effeminate pretty host of a hollywood talk show, but back in the day he was just a shaved head away from Vin Diesel. This AC could never have won the all state wrestling championship.

Jessie looks about four feet to short. Jessie was the intelligent amazon that the show kept telling you was pretty until you finally gave in and accepted it. That’s why you snuck into Showgirls after all.

Lisa Turtle was just there to fill out a diversity quota so she’s fine, and good job on Screech.

Zach, poot Zach. What happened preppy? Do you have fetal alcohol syndrome? Why is your head so big?

I love me some SBTB but this looks like a poor effort even for the network that brought you “Not Without My Daughter” starring Sally Field.

Tags: Saved By The Bell

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