Selena Gomez seems like a nice sleazy girl who just wanted to make terrible auto-tuned computer songs and hang out with that little lesbian girl who looks like Lance Bass. You know the Canadian one, Justin Bieber.
Anyway as you might have heard the small elf like Canadian lesbian singer dumped the poor little former disney sleaze girl. It was all very sad. I really thought those two were going to make it.
So Selena Gomez did the only thing that makes sense in a time like this, she got a tattoo. Tattoos are fine, I have nothing against tattoos. If you’re getting something permanent put on your body to get back at someone else though, well that’s just stupid. If you want to get back at someone kidnap them and put a bad tattoo on their lower back. Tattoos can be cool and fun and I’m absolutely not a hater. OK, I am a hater, but I’m not a tattoo hater.
The most hysterical celebrity tattoo fad is when the famous troglodyte tries to explain why this tattoo “is like super duper meaningful.” It’s never really that meaningful. Miley Cyrus got a dreamcatcher on her side, I guess sometimes her butt has bad dreams.
Selena went for a more subtle look and got “love yourself first” tattooed on her side. Sure that’s sappy drivel that doesn’t mean much of anything but the important part is that it’s forever!
Oh wait, did I fail to mention that it’s written in Arabic? No Selena Gomez isn’t arabic, nor does she speak arabic. Selena Gomez is from Texas, a place where speaking Arabic is illegal in public schools. Selena’s dad is of Mexican decent and her mom’s family is Italian. So no, they don’t speak Arabic in the home.
I have put together a few suggestions of things that Selena could get a tattoo of that might more sense than a Hallmark card written in Arabic.
Option #1: A tattoo of Kevin Federline so that she can be reminded of what Justin Bieber is going to turn into in a few years.
Option #2: A tattoo of a little elf so that she can remember what Justin Bieber looks like now.
Option #3: A tattoo of the chubby Christina Aguilera her very own Ghost of Christmas future.
Option #4: This one is my favorite, and the most meaningful I think. A tattoo of a robot to remind her of the auto-tune machine that made her career possible.
Enjoy your tattoo Selena! Just think, if you’re ever captured by the Taliban at least they will know that you love yourself!
What do you think of Selena’s tattoo? Let us know in the comments below.
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