The College Football Playoff Trophy should be rated R

We finally get the NCAA to agree to a playoff and what happens? They find a way to make it awful. I mean I’m already in pain not having an NCAA 2015 video game to help me get used to the new system. (PAY THE PLAYERS WHAT THEY ARE WORTH.) Did you really need to do this as well?

There were many problems with the old BCS, the crystal ball wasn’t one of them. The Coaches Trophy was awesome. It was so much better than the championship trophies for other NCAA sports, all of which are just recycled high school AA division trophies. The crystal ball had class, it looked amazing, it was breakable. The image of the winning team holding it up in the air after the BCS Championship was a great shot for the cover of the next mornings paper.

So what did the NCAA do when it was time to design a trophy for the College Football Playoff? I assume that Mark Emmert and Jim Delany went into a dark potters room and recreated a scene from their favorite movie. Why is Jim Delany involved? Because this trophy is Legends and Leaders level crappy.


The trophy doesn’t even look like a damn trophy. It looks like Mark Emmert is really into Georgia O’Keefe and wanted something vaguely vagina shaped. I bet Emmert originally planned for it to be flesh colored.
“Can you make it a soft dusky tan like the supple skin of my filipino man servant?” – Mark Emmert
What’s really crazy is that this trophy has the unique ability to be both vagina shaped and phallic at the same time. Hey Emmert, I don’t know if you know this, but the internet loves photoshop. Like it really loves photoshop. The coach who wins and hoists this trophy in the air should just go ahead and accept that the fans of the team he just beat are going to turn that into a big dildo.
Maybe rating this thing R isn’t strong enough, we might need to go NC-17.

A few things the College Football Playoff trophy looks like, sorted from best to worst:
A vase.
A vuvuzela.
A Georgia O’Keefe painting.
Lady parts that Mark Richt has only seen on the internet.
What do you think of the new College Football Playoff Trophy? Let us know in the comments below.

Tags: College Football College Football News NCAA

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