Alabama vs. USC in 2016, A futuristic preview

Alabama and USC are set to open the college football season in Arlington Texas at AT&T Stadium on Sept. 3, 2016. When I say “open the college football season” I of course mean open the 2016 college football season.

2016 may seem like a long way off, it does sound futuristic, but it’ not. (MAYBE I AM FEELING OLD, WHAT OF IT?) 2016 is only two years away from us.

Don’t get too comfortable though, because the world is going to change dramatically in the next two years. How do I know this? Because Marty McFly went to 2015 and they had flying cars and hoverboards. Duh.

Alabama vs USC

So with all the amazing crazy flying cars and shoes that tie themselves changes, what will college football look like? That’s what we are here to show you. This is our early VERY SCIENTIFIC and reasonable look at Alabama vs USC in 2016.

Nick Saban will of course be a cyborg. NOTE: We believe Nick Saban is probably already a cyborg, but he will no longer have to hide it in a more cyborg friendly and accepting 2016.


Lane Kiffin will have already left Alabama by the time these two teams play. In typical Kiffin style however he will “fall up” into his new job, governor of California.

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Hoverboards will be legal, but only on kickoffs and punt returns. Keep in mind that they don’t work on water, so they will be useless in the water hazards.

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The most drastic rule change is the “Tom Brady Rule.” Following the lead of the NFL, college football has made quarterback safety a priority. You may no longer tackle quarterbacks, instead you must kiss them once on each cheek and say something affirming about their personality.

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Los Angeles never could get an NFL team, so they gave up on planet earth. L.A. has moved to an orbiting habitation sphere. The USC Trojans are now known as the USC Space Trojans.

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The NCAA finally gave into the pressure to pay student athletes… kind of. Mark Emmert insists that athletes be paid in “NCAA bucks” which they can mail into the NCAA for awesome prizes like x-ray glasses and decoder rings.


Mutants can participate in college athletics, but each team can only have three on the roster at any time.

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Oh you wanted a preview of the game itself? It’s two years off bro, those predictions would be totally unreasonable and ridiculous.

Alabama vs USC

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Tags: Alabama Crimson Tide Lane Kiffin Nick Saban USC Trojans

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